Bloatational Force – The stomach’s ability appear 6 months pregnant after one burrito.
Cognitive Narcolepsy – The ability to fall asleep whist eyes are open and mouth produces the reassuring words like “well done” and “that’s wonderful” at frequent intervals.
Hyperhighstrungness – The body’s ability to never relax and always be prepared for danger even in the most comfortable of situations. For example, to make the exact same lunchbox for 5 years and still find the process extraordinarily stressful.
Productivity Tunneling – The ability to plot and execute a plan for world domination during a 5 minute episode of Peppa Pig.
Needle-In-A-Haystack Vision – The ability to find impossibly small things like Barbie shoes or Lego heads illogically scattered about an entire house.
Empty Caloric Maximization – The ability to survive only on the removed crusts of sandwiches. And the occasional left over pasta noodle.
Bilateral Brain-Mouth Connectivity – The ability to sings nursery rhymes to a toddler and read a magazine at the same time.
Extreme Caffeine Metabolization – The ability to drink endless coffee and tea throughout the day and still fall asleep the very second the body hits the sofa to relax and watch TV after a long day.